Guest post: Keeping It Simple Out of Town

Living out of town has its definite pluses and minuses. On the minus side, I had to head all the way to school in the big bad city of New York. On the plus side, that was where I met my husband. We met through the traditional way, introduced via a shadchan, or matchmaker. In this case, my matchmaker was my high school principal, who matches up at least ten to twenty couples a month on dates. Not all of those dates turn into marriage, but with the game of probability in play, the more matches you set up, the more likely one turns into a engagement.

We dated in New York, and finally took the big plunge and got engaged in January. The next big thing was setting a wedding date. Here’s where another plus, in my opinion, comes in. Since I live out of town, there are only a few (try one or two) kosher wedding halls available, making my choices far easier. I simply called one up, found out that they would be available for X dates, and then spoke to all who were concerned. This included the rabbaim who would be coming in for the event, the parents on both sides, and of course, my then chassan.¬†After about a week of deliberation, we set the date for Rosh Chodesh Nissan, the first day of the Jewish month of Nissan.

Getting married on Rosh Chodesh usually has many pluses to it. First of all, getting married on the first day of the month is a good omen–for a full and complete marriage, and a new beginning. Secondly, usually an Orthodox Jew who gets married on the first of the month does not have to fast prior to their wedding date. This applies for all months, except… you guessed it! Nissan. Why? Because that day was the day when the Mishkan (Tabernacle) was finally inaugurated, and on that day, the High Priest’s, Aharon, two sons Nadav and Avihu, brought a forbidden offering, and were killed. So, on that specific Rosh Chodesh, those who are getting married still fast.¬† Rosh Chodesh Nissan is also an auspicious day to get married, for there are those that say that that might have been the birthday of the world.

Out of town preparations for a wedding also constitute major pluses. There are a limited amount of choices, and this makes it rather easy. I got engaged at the end of a semester in college, making me available in my home town for ten days to get things organized. And so I did. I started ordering a shaitel, decided on a menu for the hall, booked a photographer, arranged the flowers and chupah, and set up a videographer. However, the minus to living out of town was that it was a lot harder to find a wedding dress there. So I elected to do that type of thing in New York.

I ended up renting my wedding dress from a rental place in Boro Park, due to the simple fact that I fell in love with it. My second shaitel came from a phenomenal shaitel macher there as well, and this became the shaitel that I would end up wearing to my own wedding.

For you see, there are those who say that since a Orthodox Jewish woman covers her hair after marriage, after the wedding ceremony takes place, one is considered to be married. And therefore, following that train of logic, the bride’s hair should be covered after the ceremony. Now, like any other bride, I was hesitant about that idea, since I loved my hair, and couldn’t picture wearing a wig on my most special of days, even if my chassan did ask me to. But the more I looked into it, and discussed it with my Rebbitzen, the more I came to the conclusion that I would wear a wig. I wore it throughout the pictures, and if I do say so myself, it looked stunning. Most people at the wedding did not know I was wearing one at all!

So, I got my happy ending, and a fabulous wedding, even if it was geographically undesirable!

Wishing you and all the rest of Klal Yisroel the same- happiness, joy, and all the blessings in the world!

NMF #7

NMF #7 is a newlywed, living in Israel, writing about her experiences there as an Orthodox Jewish girl. You can find her writings and perspectives about Israel, married life, and the world at large at her blog: Israel Chronicles.

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1 comment, read them below or

  1. Devorah 11/13/09 at 10:37 AM

    Wow. That sounds really nice!